Nothing to say much for updates, still chopping my hair short, getting more piercings, gauging more, with lots of working out and reading or watching animes. Also contacts suck. Poking and pinching your eyeballs should be illegal. Still feeling antisocial. Hurry home Shawn, I’m bored and I want to hang with you most. Though berry would be as sweet for company right now. Now back to make myself feel a bit more fulfilled by looking at pictures of Irish wolfhounds, German shepherds‘, and labradoodles. I like to imagine being able to afford a nice big empty house with a pool and having my 2 dogs and 2 cats. ^^
0 Comments
I learned about sex a bit young. I remember times listening to my mom and her friends talking about different things around the house being used as a makeshift dong and I remember my step fathers grotesque jokes. Mostly along the lines of women loving the cock and they are horny wenches who just want to suck some cock and get slammed. I remember a movie I watched when I was young, before I was 12 even that really imprinted into my mind about it. It was a movie about a young frustrated native girl. Her parents would have their parties. Kids are expected to greet and not be shy to guests. When she was in her room later that night a good friend of her family came into her room and threatened then raped her. She couldn’t deal with everything and got into drugs. Eventually she felt she couldn’t live a life anymore, feeling lost, she hung herself to death. When I moved from B.C. to here, I found myself in a different situation. My stepfather is a charismatic drinker. They would hold large parties. Usually on the porch and in the back yard, with the booze and munchies inside the house. Sometimes there were 40-80 people. Multiple times strange men would stumble into my room. Worst was that even when I yelled that it was my room and to get out, they more frequently started to move further into the room or go to close the door behind them. It was only after I threatened them, told them that I would scream and fight if they came any closer, that they would stop and leave. I started getting paranoid about these times and after a good half dozen of these times, started sleeping in my closet during these parties. I warned my friends about men and rape and got to hear from them when they experienced it. I started hearing and noticing all the twisted and dark parts of the world that I lived in. I started to become quiet and listened lots. Parents would talk around me, my friends would spill on everything so that they could get advice from me. I couldn’t believe how they shrugged off the molesters, rapists and abusers. By fourteen I may or may not have felt that men were creeps. I had a rare crush before I hit the age of 18 on an actual guy. Otherwise when my drive did hit, it had a great interest in J-lo and women. Strange thing, sitting in a room with a girl talking about things and them telling me that I was lucky. At least I knew men wanted me. ?? At 12 I don’t want a 30-50 year old guy to rape me. I didn’t enjoy it. I never liked their advances. I didn’t like them cornering me or trying to touch me. It wasn’t like I said, “Awwww, you wanna fuck me! J That’s sweet! I am so happy you find my little 12 year old prepubescent body sexy. I will remember this in high school and it will give me confidence in myself that you just had to have me so badly.” Girls are fucked up. Seriously. I have been working a lot and listening to lots of David Bowie (Official), Two Door Cinema Club, Muse, Bloc Party, The Wombats, Vampire Weekend, The Shins, Bombay Bicycle club, Fyfe Dangerfield. K-OS, The Arctic Monkeys, Jack Conte, MGMT and Cage The Elephant. I have also been reading lots of comics since I am out of animes that I both own and haven’t seen recently. I am buying a computer and Xbox 360 in the next few days but have to wait until mid July before I can get the internet. In July I get to steal my niece and nephew for a week. I can’t wait to see what kind of things I can get them into and how much I can surprise my sister. I love the kids but don’t get many chances to spend more than an hour with them. I expect I will spend a decent amount of time this summer at the beach once it warms up a bit more. I have been enjoying people that I have known for many years not being able to recognize me because of my nose ring. I am a bit close to banging my head against the wall because my roommate is just starting work now and thus I have not had an hour in the apartment alone for a month. Anyway, I am boring as heck right now so will write later. ^^’
Also you should totally check out these, http://kexita.deviantart.com/gallery/?offset=24 which are some wickGauge-wise starting from the bottom I am now 0, 7, 10. I am working on my bottom-most being 00, which is a number you cant just go back to not having gauged ears from. Essentially how it works is that when you get your ears pierced they are pierced at 18. When you start gauging your ears you start with stretchers that are 12. From this the smaller number you get the larger the hole you will have. I have been skipping stretchers and going with only the even numbers for stretching. This has meant that sometimes I have stopped stretching about 3/4 of the way up and left them in for a week or two to heal before making my way to the thicker end of the stretcher. I do almost all of my stretching after I am out of the shower because it loosens up your skin and makes it easy and clean. You can gauge your ears with little or no pain as long as you have patience, though I push myself and do mine a bit faster then I should.
As for other updates, I am partially packed and will be moving in somewhere larger and nicer between the 16-20th of this month. Work just cut my hours nastily, the last two weeks worked 130 hours so I was expecting to still have many hours to lean on for the rest of this month. I got punched in the face twice last week kind of by a 'friend' and my nose is still a little sore from it. Been missing Shawn lots lately, and being deprived of company of other friends I find a great relief being around. Have had much opportunity to watch many of my favorite animes again. And went and bought many many many more volumes of comic books(>30) and manga (>20). Am still hoping to find enough money to buy a new computer this summer. I miss Ragnarok online and Sword of the new world. And I miss Dnd lots. But I suppose most I miss my old friends and shawn. Nothing is like good company. And it would be fun to play Parcheesi or my new board game blockus with someone interesting. So overall, I am boring as usual and missing my geeky friends. The last couple days I have had some time off but am not in the mood to do much other than enjoy being home for once. cheers, will post again soon, Kris Sorry for not posting in a while, will shortly be going back to posting at least every other day. I got sick of my long hair in the back touching my shirt collars so I hacked off the hair at the back. I also recently got my septum pierced, which is the part of your nose through the center of the flesh that separates your nostrils. It’s a big piercing that really stands out but my work doesn’t mind it at all. In the future I can turn it up slightly, essentially hiding it at the base of my nose. I have been gauging my ears as well, my bottom most ones are size 4’s and the next up are 10’s and are sporting large silver snakes. When I get my others healed properly to a size 2 I will be sporting some black dragonish serpents(approx. 2 weeks from now). The whole process has helped me come back to earth a bit more lately. Gauging earlobes doesn’t have to be painful at all, but I usually stop stretching them after I get some pain out of them.
There was a great friend of mine whom I had been seeing lots of, who is done their schooling this year and is taking off to other things. Its hard loosing someone so soon that I care about so much. I love them so much that I am quite heartbroken. I used to get over these things by hitting the gym hard, letting the pain be a way for me to release or express myself hurting this much. Gauging and my recent piercing has nicely added to it, but in June I will probably get a few more tattoos and piercings too. I should probably try to channel some of my grief into some drawings or paintings so that I can express and get something out of these emotions. We’ll see. Am moving in to my new apartment mid-may. There might be room for a easel and keyboard in the living room. :D My apologies for my lack of proper grammar lately, it am having more troubles than usual writing something that makes sense. I will have to go back and reread my blogs written when I was sick and fix them up a bit.
I have mentioned reading a decent chunk of comic books lately due to finding a good sale and have decided to just toss in the list I was making of them anyway. I by no means have read all of them yet but will be over the next few months. This is a good time to mention that my love of comic books developed on the DC side, which is where most of my favourite characters remain. The sale items were almost all marvel, which I suggest happened because everyone is willing to pay full price for DC, thus Marvel clutters up the clearance racks. :p Its nice to have a chance to cut marvel since I am currently outnumbered with my friends allegiances. X-men and spider-man-gage and alberti X-men legacy-Divided he stands X-treme x-men- storm the arena Wolverine First Class-Ninjas, gods, and divas(13-16) X-factor secret invasion-David, Stroman, De landro, cucca Black Panther(storm marriage) Young x-men- Books of revelations(6-12) Young Avengers-Family matters(7-12) Runaways-Dead end kids (25-30) Runaways/Young avengers-Secret invasion(1-3) The mighty avengers-Secret invasion The avengers the initiative-secret invasion(14-19) Thunderbolts(106-109) Peter Parker Spider-man-one small break(27-28, 30-34) The pulse spiderman(1-5) Spider-man and the Black Cat-The evil that men do(1-6) Ultimate Spider-man-clone saga(97-105) Ultimate Spider-man-War of Symbiotes(123-128) The Amazing spider-man-Family ties Friendly Neighborhood spider-man-Derailed The Amazing spider-man -Secret invasion Marvel 70th Anniversary Collection Fantastic Four-Michael straczynski(527-532) Robin the teen wonder I have found some great comics and series’ in this bunch, finding a few that I hope to collect more of. The ones that were not in my taste only drained me a few dollars each, so thankfully I hold no regrets. I have always loved the Spider-man comics and am only a few volumes away from the end of the Ultimate Spider-man series. I have heard many good things about the young avengers and runaways comics and admit they have been good so far. The secret Invasion books have evoked some love/hate from me thus far. I might have a better feel of which writers/illustrators I like after getting through this batch but because of the great mass of them at one time its impossible to want to review them when there are more to read still. After the first day of getting a stack of comics I decided I should brush up on comics that had some LGBT characters. After going through info on the different groups I managed to find a nice batch on sale and on eBay to check out how the characters are developed and portrayed. So far I just find myself in love with the characters and relieved that it is often not their whole story or personality. The variety actually reminds me of myself and my friends. I hope I still feel this way after reading more. Please enjoy this brilliant poem done by well loved and known children’s book author Edward Gorey. This can be put in the category of my creepy sense of humour which also holds a great deal of dead baby jokes. Now lets pretend that I did not spend a good hour trying to memorize this so that I may recite it at terribly awkward/inappropriate times.
The Ghastly Crumb Tinies: By Edward Gorey A is for Amy who fell down the stairs. B is for Basil assaulted by bears. C is for Clair who wasted away. D is for Desmond thrown out of the sleigh. E is for Ernest who choked on a peach. F is for Fanny, sucked dry by a leech. G is for George, smothered under a rug. H is for Hector, done in by a thug. I is for Ida who drowned in the lake. J is for James who took lye, by mistake. K is for Kate who was struck with an axe. L is for Leo who swallowed some tacks. M is for Maud who was swept out to sea. N is for Nevil who died of ennui. O is for Olive, run through with an awl. P is for Prue, trampled flat in a brawl. Q is for Quinton who sank in a mire. R is for Rhoda, consumed by a fire. S is for Susan who perished of fits. T is for Titas who blew into bits. U is for Una who slipped down a drain. V is for Victor, squashed under a train. W is for Winie, embedded in ice. X is for Xerxes, devoured by mice. Y is for Yoric whose head was bashed in. Z is for Zilla who drank too much gin. Believe it or not we were reminded of this nice series that includes pictures, by the recent children’s book I bought, The Dangerous Alphabet, done by Neil Gaiman and Gris Grimly which was beautifully illustrated to include many disturbing scenes filled with dastardly things. Though because the river they are boating through includes a dead and decomposing broken dog, I might just hold off on the age appropriateness of 5 years and delay giving it to my niece and nephew. Though to balance the dog one of the first pictures involves men in trench coats luring the kids with candy then proceeding to toss children into burlap sacks and go sell them in the child slave market does make me want to educate my sisters offspring faster on such dangers. Now to convince my sister of their true educational value… I am sick again. Yay. This means once its noticed my friends will start telling me how pathetic I am, and my mother will continue to say that I am only sick because I am stressed. Why wouldn’t I be, look at my queer friends, school and volunteer work that I do. Obviously these things are the ills of my life that cause me a great deal of havoc. She has even decided that when my appendix was failing last year and I ended up in the hospital to have it removed before it ruptured that it was obvious that it was stress that did it. I have enough of a complex after spending months with undiagnosed appendix problems until I was in an emergency surgery and the slow recovery of an anemic stitch ripping to give me insecurities.
I do not need someone telling me that every cold, flu or batch of food poisoning that hits me in a year is the result of stress. When I pair up that with my professors treatment of that year as my fault it just boils down to me feeling like my being sick is because I am a profound idiot whom cannot go to class without having to take a sick day to deal with the stress of getting into the door that day. Essentially my mothers views point the finger to me as well, surely helping me fester a feeling of incompetence and self blame whenever I get ill. To add to my mothers complaints, I have gained a friend who spends the time telling me that its just obvious lies and excuses to escape deadlines. Between the two of them I can understand the stress theory since they both sum up to be a huge daily headache and pain in the ass. Thanks assholes. Thanks. I am currently hoping to find someone to go with me to see Incendies. Last year I got the pleasure of watching a local play of Scorched and it was fantastic. Disturbing but fantastic. Even though the movie wont hold the extra work the talented actors got to put in to make it stage worthy, it will likely feel like you are living it, which is disturbing in its own way. I was sad I missed out on the animated movie The Illusionist (same director as The Triplets of Bellville). I am still patiently waiting for GREEN LANTERN, THOR, Captain America and DEADPOOL, RED SONJA, as well as, the next SPIDERBATX-IronSupeWOLVIE movies.
I have been reading various mangas such as Tsubasa Resevoir Chronicles, Various Yaoi and Yuri, as well as reading some Full metal alchemist and Inuyasha online again. TRC I have insurmountable respect for, having overlapping stories and characters so unique, lovable, and intertwined that I can only wish one day to imitate. As for watching I am enjoying season 2 of gargoyles the animated series(only during lunch breaks of course) and some Big Bang Theory. Finally I decided to return to a good manga and comic store as I had previously promised (A year ago.. ^^’’’’) and found out that they are closing down in only a few months. I now have been absorbed in comic books like a teenage boy with his first playboy. Broke my glasses trying to protect them from a bar night and now am blind but somehow quite addicted to reading manga right now despite having to pop Tylenol for the torture it is putting my eyes through. This reminds me of why I got glasses in the first place, so that I could freaking read ALL day and wouldn’t get migraines. Despite all the reading its mostly been off topic, 60’s are not my kind of marks at all though, I will have to step it up a notch I am impressing nobody with such lousy grades. I have been working full time lately, and trying to stay sane while feeling antisocial, myself and T-girl are looking for a place together, though its a frightening idea for me since I am much happier alone. All this place searching evokes my desire for an actual kitchen, bookshelf and maybe someday in the future a drawing table and keyboard or piano. Have been drawing quite a bit with and without glasses which were interesting, will toss some up soon. Been listening to some Vampire weekend, Queen, David Bowie, Panic at the disco, Franz Ferdinand, K-Os and Ra Ra Riot. Sprinkled with some New Radicals, Paper Planes, Fuck you, Under Pressure, and Smooth Criminal.
|
Kris
I am a Bi+Trans geeky student who is all about Gaming, Music, Drawing, Writing, Anime, Comic books, and Web comics. Categories
All
Archives
April 2016
|